The Job Interview

Interviewer:  So, what skills do you think you could bring to the role?

Applicant:      Listen, I’ve seen the other person waiting outside, and he looks a right state. I mean, *sniggers*, seriously?

Interviewer:  Don’t worry about him, It’s you I’m interested in talking about.

Applicant:      I heard he used to hang around with some really dodgy people, I wouldn’t employ him, he’s filth..

Interviewer:  Let’s just focus on you shall we? What would you say your strengths are?

Applicant:      My strengths..eh..well I’m strong.

Interviewer:  Being strong is your strength?

Applicant:      Yes, and stable.

Interviewer:  I see. Looking at your application I notice that there is quite a bit of crossing out. You seem to change your mind about things a lot.

Applicant:     That bloke outside looks rubbish.

Interviewer:  Please, it would really help if you concentrated on your own application. Now, there are a lot of facets to this job, requiring a lot of different skills. Are you quite sure you would be up to the tasks involved, and able to lead your team with confidence?

Applicant:      I heard a lot of the people in the last place he worked, didn’t like him.

Interviewer:  OK, I think I have asked all I need to. Is there anything you’d like to ask me?

Applicant:     Yes, who would you rather wake up and find out you’d employed, me or that bloke outside?

Interviewer: Ok, thank you for coming. We’ll be in touch.

Applicant:     He killed a puppy.

Interviewer: OK, thank you. Bye.

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