The Day My ipad Went Mad (John Cooper Clarke, respectfully updated)

Ankle deep in spam email, my Inbox had been clogged
Trollish comments all over the place, I don’t even have a blog
The man upstairs sent me a link
But it says the Gateway’s ‘bad’
All I could hear was ‘low battery’ alarm
The day my ipad went mad

The desktop icons disappeared, the camera wouldn’t click
Porn had been downloaded, something really vile and sick
Pop-Ups refused to budge
I couldn’t skip the ad
The keyboard keys all turned Chinese
The day my ipad went mad

My files they would not open, my password had been hacked
The cursor it was frozen, the screen went pink, then black
Currys wouldn’t take it back
I was stuck with what I had
Out of order, beyond repair
The day my ipad went mad

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