The old uns are the best..

Friday, 4:30pm in an old fashioned mirrored and tiled fish & chip restaurant near Paddington.
I am the only customer apart from a group of 4 senior citizens, sat discussing comedians and celebrities.
This is what I heard, more or less word for word..


1st Lady: I’ll tell you a comedian you never hear about any more…eh..what’s he   Arthur English.


Man: Dead


1st Lady: I liked him.


2nd Lady: Oh yes, I liked him. He went a bit funny in the head towards the end..


1st Lady: What about him, that one that used to swear a lot? David Allen. You don’t hear about him anymore.


Man:   Dave Allen. Dead. Died a long time ago..


3rd Lady: I used to like that woman. Small woman, in that comedy in a factory..oh what was she called?


1st Lady: Dinnerladies?


3rd Lady: No, a factory, she worked in a factory. Gherkins. There were gherkins.


1st Lady: I like that Dinnerladies.


Man: Hilda Baker!


3rd Lady: That’s her. Oh I loved her. She was funny. It was on Sundays. She made me laugh.


Man: Died years ago.


2nd Lady: She went funny in the head towards the end. Ended up in a home.She had no money.  She died potless..


1st Lady: There’s an organization that looks after em if they’ve got no money when they’ve finished in showbiz. They’re ever so good to em. They paid for it all when she went..


3rd Lady: They’re not the same now, these celebrities. They’re never out of the papers..


Man: That man looks after em all. That man with the grey hair….Clifford, Max Clifford…


2nd Lady: Like that Katie Price..


1st Lady: Who?


3rd Lady: She’s a model.


2nd Lady: She’s a millionaire.


3rd Lady: Mind you, she’s worked for it. Worked for it all..


2nd Lady: Oh well I suppose she has..


3rd Lady: But these celebrities now , they’re always in the paper. A lot of em are bio-sexual…




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