In the cold and silence of the night, Frightened Fence looked frightened
He always did,it must be said, but tonight his fright was heightened.
All Hallow’s Eve and all alone, his owners at a party.
One in a dark suit, one in white, they’d gone as Geoff and Marty.
(Randall & Hopkirk Deceased)
Last Halloween when Fence was new and covered with tarpaulin
He’d felt all safe and shielded from the spooks and caterwaulin’
But now, as the Witching Hour approached, he felt the wind a changing.
Reality began to bend, the world was rearranging.
A slither here, a rustle there, shapes shifted in the gloom
Thought Fence, why must these creatures come? I wish they’d all just get a room.
He tried to be a brave fence, but his timbers they were wobblin’
Then in the dark he heard a grunt- Oh no – a Pavement Goblin!
The Tortured Tree began to moan; the sound of a million sins
The Poster Monsters came alive and grinned their papery grins
Fence could only stand and stare, too scared to even think
When a Thames Water Grate Zombie hissed and belched
My word! The sound, the stink!
No legs, he could not run away. No mouth, he could not scream.
He couldn’t even close his eyes and pretend it was all a dream.
A Pavement Goblin munched and sucked and Fence, he longed for cuddles
To save him from the leaves and trees, the posters, pavements, puddles.
Shadows fell upon him, behind him, something damp
Don’t let it be a Tree Root Ghoul, please let it be a tramp.
No one came to soothe him, to tell him ‘Don’t be scared’
It just went on, the things he saw! His night was truly mared
He vowed he’d never tell the worst, if little fences he ever had
He’d say that such things don’t exist, they’d say, More stories Dad!
And when at last the sun came up, he thought of all he’d seen.
He’d made it through. So Boo! to You! Have a Happy Halloween!
Hey kids, Now you can make your own Pavement Goblin! Here’s what you’ll need:
A pavement, a cracked one is best.
Whatever is lying around on the ground like leaves, twigs, conkers, crab apples and berries. Be careful though, a lot of berries are poisonous so NEVER put them in your mouth and ALWAYS wash your hands after handling them. If you’re not sure about something, ask an adult to supervise.
You could even try squidging the fruit and berries for that fresh oozing, bloody puss effect!
But once you’ve made your Pavement Goblin, be careful not to stand too near. Or you might feel a slight breeze around your ankles and a hear a low, hollow grunt. You might feel the ground vibrate slightly andl something sharp or burning underfoot. You might look down down into an evil grinning face as it opens wide it’s jaws to swallow you all up. You might scream but it will be to no avail. That wicked granite grin will be the last thing you ever see…Muhahahahaah….